


The Heart Never Lies

by a1_kitkat



Category: Roswell New Mexico (TV 2019)
Genre: Flashbacks, Hurt/Comfort, Jealous Michael, Jealousy, Loss of Control, M/M, Malex, Not Beta Read, Panic Attacks, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Spoilers, Tumblr Prompt, s01e08
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-19
Updated: 2019-03-19
Packaged: 2019-11-24 14:46:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,832
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18166574
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/a1_kitkat/pseuds/a1_kitkat
Summary: for @dolphangal22 on tumblrMichael accidentally loses control of his powers which causes a lot of damage to the Crashdown Cafe and to Alex who suffers from a very public panic attack. Guilt makes Michael want to run but his love for Alex makes him want to stay.





	The Heart Never Lies

It had been almost two weeks since they’d been forced to return Isobel to her pod and Michael was already starting to lose it. He spent hours on end in the shelter beneath his air stream, pouring over every piece of research he’d ever done over the years and had still come up with nothing new.

He had zero regrets about their decision as it really had been their only option to buy more time but now time was really against them. She couldn’t stay in there forever… Michael wouldn’t let her. She and Max were the only family he had; as much as he tried to deny it, pretended it wasn’t true, Isobel was his sister and he wasn’t ready to lose her. He was tired of losing the people he cared about.

 

After, yet another, sleepless night in the shelter, Michael climbed up the ladder and into the harsh light of day. It burned his eyes and he groaned as he made his way inside the trailer and into the shower.

Ten minutes later he was in his truck, heading across town to talk to Liz. He couldn’t believe he was going out of his way to find Liz Ortecho and was prepared to practically beg to see how much further along in her research she’d gotten.

He drove straight to her lab, not letting any doors, locks or security get in his way but since it was a Saturday the place was basically deserted. Once in the lab, he was surprised to find it too was empty. Michael lingered for a few minutes, in case she was in the bathroom or had just stepped out for lunch. He started snooping around in the drawers but quickly gave up. Liz wasn’t dumb enough to leave important research just lying around.

Annoyance was building inside him as he admitted defeat and decided to head for the Crashdown. If she wasn’t here, then she was likely there and if that failed, he’d go to Max and start demanding more be done.

 

It was close to lunchtime when he reached the café but most of the lunch crowd had already died off. He stood outside on the pavement, peering in through the window and could see both Liz and Max sitting together at the counter. He sighed with relief, happy to see they were hard at work until he opened the door and stepped just inside then he heard Max’s laughter reach his ears.

Michael stopped dead in his tracks and just stared at them. How could Max be _laughing_ at a time like this? Why was Liz _smiling_ so brightly? If they’d already thought of a solution, they would have told Michael already but here they were... _Smiling_ and _laughing_ while Isobel was trapped, rotting away in her pod.

He could feel his control slipping as the anger began to build inside him. He needed something to distract him; he couldn’t cause a scene, not here, not now, not without losing his cool and maybe yelling something he shouldn’t.

 

Michael looked away from the happy couple at the counter and his eyes fell upon two other patrons in a booth by the window. He spotted Alex first, would recognize him from ten miles away, and his heart skipped a beat when he saw the smile on his face. A real, true genuine happy smile… It wasn’t something he got to see on Alex Manes that often and he felt a stab of pain, knowing someone else was responsible for the smile currently lighting up his entire face, the curl of his soft lips.

He could only see the back of their head but he wanted to march right over there and smash said face into the table… Until they stood up, leaned down and hugged Alex. Michael flexed his fingers. The mystery man turned to take their leave and Michael found himself staring at Kyle Valenti.

 

He immediately started to see red; Isobel needed their help… And here was Max and Liz seemingly on a playful, happy date while _Kyle fucking Valenti_ was hugging Alex and making him smile. Kyle walked right past him with his smug Doctor swagger and didn’t even acknowledge him. At the booth, Alex was dipping a fry into his milkshake and still smiling to himself.

Michael closed his eyes and told himself to stay calm, to count to ten but then he heard Max laugh again and he just let go.

 

*

 

The sound was deafening as items all over the Café began to vibrate. Glasses shattered, people started to scream, a loud explosion echoed from the kitchen. Max immediately moved to protect Liz but she was already halfway to the kitchen, calling out for her father.

The kitchen was on fire as the stove had exploded. Two workers were attempting to put the fire out, Arturo was nursing a nasty burn on his arm and Liz instantly began to fuss over him.

 

The initial shock and damage already done, the remaining customers were evaluating themselves and the damage. Several people had hurried into the kitchen to check on the staff but Michael was still standing, frozen, by the door… Like he was in shock that _he’d_ just done so much damage. He hadn’t lost control like that in a long time; he knew he needed to leave before Max saw him but it was too late.

 

Max’s protector instincts had kicked in, as soon as Liz made a beeline for her dad, he’d quickly turned to evaluate the rest of the diner and the first person he saw was Michael. As he got to his feet to confront him, something else caught his attention and Max turned to the corner booth where Alex had been sitting. Kyle wasn’t there anymore but neither was Alex. Max hadn’t seen them leave, knowing he could yell at Michael later, he turned and made his way to the booth.

 

Seeing his chance to flee, Michael started towards the door which opened in his face and suddenly Kyle was back. This time he was in full Doctor-mode. He must’ve heard the commotion and come running back. Kyle noticed Michael this time and asked him if anyone was hurt, Michael simply nodded and pointed towards the kitchen. It didn’t take a genius to know that was where the most damage had been done.

 

Max slowly approached the booth, could see Alex’s crutch on the floor and he knelt on the floor. He held back a gasp when he found Alex under the table.

 

*

 

The noise of whatever had exploded echoed loudly in Alex’s ears. Instinctively, he dived under the table, closed his eyes and tried to block it out. His hand gripped the base of the table so tight his knuckles turned white. He tucked his head down, kept his eyes closed to hold back tears as he furiously shook his head. It couldn’t be happening again; he wasn’t in a war zone now, no he was back home in Roswell, had been enjoying a milkshake.

Around him he could hear screaming and the sound of other things breaking, people were crying for help; there was so much screaming. He didn’t want to open his eyes, didn’t want to see the damage, the carnage. Explosions meant injuries, lost limbs, lost lives. He’d seen it too many times, wasn’t ready to have to see it again.

 

Why were things still exploding? It didn’t make any sense… His entire body was shaking. He knew he couldn’t stay where he was, it wasn’t safe. He needed to get out of there, to find help, to save the people who were injured.

 

“Alex?”

 

Someone was saying his name but they weren’t shouting; there was no urgency behind it. He held tighter to metal base of the table as he tried to take deep breaths but it wasn’t working.

 

“Alex?”

 

The voice was calling him again but he couldn’t look, it had to be a trick. He knew if he opened his eyes, he’d be back in Iraq. The sound he was hearing was gunfire and the explosions… Just like the one that had cost him his leg. His fingers were starting to go numb but he continued to hold on, if he needed to pick up his gun and defend himself, he wouldn’t be able to. He was failing his mission, he was a failure.

 

*

 

Michael was hallway out the door when he saw Max hunched on the floor and he stopped. Max was reaching out to someone, someone injured maybe? He knew he should leave but he’d done this, his emotions had gotten to him and he’d caused this. He should stay and help.

Max was slowly reaching out a hand and Michael realized where he was… Which booth he was trying to approach and he felt sick. Had his actions caused _Alex_ some kind of injury? He’d never be able to forgive himself if he’d caused him any kind of pain. He took a step closer just as Max made contact with Alex. He heard the scream of pain that came from Alex’s lips and tears filled his eyes.

 

‘What have I done?’ Michael looked down at his own hands as Isobel’s words echoed in his mind.

_I want to be able to look at my own hands without wanting to chop them off!_ If he could turn off his powers to ensure he never caused Alex any harm or pain, fuck he’d do it in a heartbeat.

 

*

 

“Kyle?” Max called over his shoulder.

 

Alex was in a bad way and Max had no idea how to help him. Kyle was a Doctor surely he would know how to handle this? Max moved back, leaving Alex still cowering under the table. He couldn’t blame him for reacting like this. Alex had been through a lot and the stove exploding had caused everyone to panic.

 

“Liz?” Max called for someone else, anyone else who could help Alex. Sure they’d known each other in high school but they’d had very little contact since. Max hated feeling so helpless, wished there was something he could do for Alex. He could see the tears rolling down his cheeks, the way he shook his head side to side, was silently praying it to all be over. Max tried to tell him it _was_ over but Alex couldn’t hear him, was too lost to his own internal demons.

 

Kyle was still treating Arturo but Liz came hurrying out at Max’s call and gasped when she saw Alex. She too knelt on the ground and tried to speak to him but Alex wasn’t capable of hearing her either.

 

*

 

Michael could see the expression of utter helplessness on Liz’s face. He knew Alex was scared, could practically hear his cries of pain and fear from this far away but Michael couldn’t get involved. Alex had Liz and Max to look after him, Michael had done enough damage. He shouldn’t do anymore.

But he was still just standing there, just watching as both Max and Liz exchanged helpless glances. Michael blinked back tears.

 

He’d done this. He needed to fix it. Michael looked over just as Kyle reappeared. Their eyes met from across the room and Michael froze again. Kyle was a Doctor, he was trained for this but Michael loved Alex. Deep down, he could feel that he was what Alex needed right now, not a Doctor telling him to pull himself together.

 

*

 

Alex could still hear the explosions echoing in his mind. The voices around him were a mix of panic, fear, desperation. It was odd the voices kept calling him ‘Alex’ though for he was so used to being referred to by his rank or ‘Manes’.

That didn’t make it any less terrifying though. His body was still shaking; he couldn’t make it stop. He was losing feeling to his fingers but he couldn’t let go of the weapon in his hand. He needed to be able to defend himself. He was a sitting duck right now but he had to defend himself.

 

He felt a hand on his arm and he cried out, recoiled and buried himself deeper under the table. His head was spinning; his eyes were stinging from either the tears or from being squeezed closed for too long. Glass was still shattering all around him, he could hear it, he was sure of it. The hand was gone from his arm but the chatter around him was dying off. Was he losing consciousness?

No, he could still hear a voice. Just one voice that was clearer than all the others. It was very low, very soft but very close. They must still be within an arm’s reach even if they weren’t reaching for him.

 

“Alex?”

 

He knew that voice but it couldn’t be… He’d obviously been injured in the explosion and either had a concussion or was beginning to hallucinate because Guerin wasn’t here… Guerin wasn’t in Iraq. He was back home in Roswell where he was safe… Safe from Alex’s dad.

 

“Alex?”

 

There it was again… So soft and gentle. In his mind, he was seventeen years old and he was in the tool shed with Guerin. Both nervous kids, neither one exactly sure what to do but the kisses were so passionate, so tender. He bit back a sob. Another memory came to him… Outside of Michael’s air stream. They’re older, still as damaged and still as nervous. This time their kisses were so much more intense, a hungry desperation behind them. The way Michael had thrown him down on the bed…

 

“Alex? It’s okay”

 

He’d heard that before too… When he’d been nervous of Michael seeing him… Or not seeing his leg. Michael had touched his cheek, kissed his lips and assured him it would be okay and Alex had believed him because he trusted Michael. In his heart, he knew this had to be real, that Michael was really there.

 

“Guerin?” Alex whispered.

 

The noise began to quieten in his ears. The explosions, the crashes, the gunfire, they all began to fade until all he could hear was Michael Guerin. He didn’t want to open his eyes, didn’t want to believe that Michael was really there. When he felt a hand on his, gently prising his own fingers from the metal bar of the table, he took a deep breath and very slowly opened his eyes.

 

Michael was crouched on the floor of the Crashdown Café, looking at him in that same way he always did. His hands were easing Alex’s free of the table and he blinked, looked around in confusion. He was sitting under a booth in the café, could see Liz and Max and Kyle all behind Michael. Liz looked confused but Max and Kyle appeared to be exchanging knowing looks.

 

Utter relief filled Alex’s entire body. He wasn’t back in Iraq; he was home in Roswell with Michael. His eyes flittered about the café, trying to assess what had happened and why he was under the table but his gaze just kept coming back to Michael who was still holding both his hands.

Michael had brought him back; Michael’s voice had broken through Alex’s fear and panic and brought him back to the safety of reality. He looked into Michael’s eyes, those same eyes he’d looked into when they were seventeen and his breath hitched in his throat. He didn’t stop to think, just lunged forward and threw himself into Michael’s arms. Their lips came together in a bruising kiss which Michael was very quick to reciprocate.

 

*

 

Liz gasped in shock while Kyle and Max simply looked at each other and shrugged.

 

“You know I told him to do that” Kyle insisted to Max.

“You told him to freak out in public and only let Michael help him?” Max sounded doubtful.

“No, I told him to just kiss and make up already”

 

Max shook his head in disbelief but couldn’t deny the way Michael and Alex were looking at each other. Even the way Michael helped Alex to his feet, handed him his crutch, it was all done with such careful tenderness. He still intended to rip Michael a new one given the damage he’d done to the Café but right now he was going to let Michael be there for Alex for he could see how much his actions were already taking a toll on him. Michael was already showing remorse because his recklessness had caused Alex pain.

 

Max turned and looked at Liz who had dropped into a seat and was watching as Michael escorted Alex from the café. He’d never seen her speechless before.

 

“Did you know about that?” she asked.

“Yes” both Max and Kyle replied at the same time.

“What? How long have…?”

“Since Alex told me a few weeks ago” Kyle confessed.

“Prom” Max admitted.

“Ten years?” Liz practically shrieked at him.

 

“What can I say” Max replied “I’m good at keeping secrets”

 


End file.
